A Spanish 18-year old was arrested yesterday for trying to sell naked pics of his 11-year old sister! He was going to give the photos to a 25-year old in exchange for a car. Seriously? Where do we begin? In the great style of Tosh.0 (www.danieltosh.com), let’s put 20 seconds on the clock… GO!
-“A car for a picture of a naked 11-year old? Am I on The Price Is Right?!”
-“Is the car in good condition?”
“Yes, is the sister?”
-“Can I see the Car Fax?”
“If I can see the results from her physical.”
-“Mom, can I have money for a car?”
“Not before you help your sister lather up in the shower.”
-“Man, my little sister no longer thinks I’m hot. How can I rectify this situation?? WHEELS???”
-“Hey sis. Wanna see my car? First I need to see your headlights.”
Aaaand, time’s up…
This dude wanted a car? You can impress 11-year olds with a tricycle. TRUST ME. And the irony? You know he only wanted the car so he could get laid! And you can’t get laid when everyone knows you’re hot for your younger sister.
Conversely, how creepy is the person willing to give up a CAR for a picture of a little girl? Real fuckin’ creepy, that’s how. I got my money on two lazy eyes and a hair lip.
I’m still freaked out by the thought of seeing my grown-up sister naked. Which makes you, Europe, a huge, gross, cigarette-smoking pervert. Get it together! And shave yourself while you’re at it. And put on some deodorant. And stop raising such hot 11-year olds. Jesus!
Read more about the Spanish Inquisition here.
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