After a wild weekend of showing off his new tattoo on Twitter, then being outed for having what looks to be a bag of drugs in that pic, and then answering the resulting critiques via Twitter with seemingly suicidal tweets, Miami Heat guard Michael Beasley is entering into Twitter rehab.
NBA officials commented swiftly with support. “Michael is a young guy in the league and he looks up to other athletes like The Real Shaq and Terrell Owens. But the fact is, he started Twittering too much, too fast, and he lost control. We’re happy that he’s taken the proper actions to reverse this vicious cycle.”
The Real Shaq, formerly also of the Heat, tweeted his own concern. “Michael’s facing a life-long battle now. Every time he goes to the bathroom, or takes a breath of air, or gets into a limousine … he’s going to want to tweet. And he just can’t go back down that road.”
Beasley was reportedly set to throw out his telephone, home computer, blackberry, smart phone, iPod Touch, beeper, traveling laptop, personal calculator, and any other device that can spell words by typing in order to stay clean.
However, some are already doubting his earnestness. “He thinks it’s a joke. I saw him entering the Twit-habilitation facility,” a concerned fan said outside of the Heat arena. “He was wearing a T-shirt that said ‘Rehab is For Twitters.’”
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Tweet, stumble, digg, rededdit? Get this shit off your blog. It's only distracting. None of that's bringing any traffic anyways.
ReplyDeleteFunny stuff though!!