Doctors have determined that Brett Favre is physically well enough to play in the NFL, but that he has the mental decision-making skills of a 7-year old. Dr. Herman Myer described the issue:
“Brett tends to think like a child when it comes behavioral issues such as sharing and decision-making. When someone, sayyy, a Viking or a Jet, shows no interest in Brett, he simply must be a part of it. For instance, if I were a Viking, and I said, ‘Hey Brett, come play with me. Here’s all my toys. Pass me the ball,’… then it’s too easy. Like a toddler, he automatically stops showing interest. But if I say, ‘Brett, you stay over there and take a nap. I’m going to go over HERE and play with some of my other Viking friends. But don’t join us! Just watch.’ Then we see Brett’s behavior change dramatically, and he starts picking up footballs and buying plane tickets and showing up to practice. Really doing anything he can to join the group.”
The behaviors had gone unnoticed in the past due to Brett’s comfort zone in Green Bay. But now, new fears are growing. It was reported by ESPN that during a team dinner last night, other players became furious as Brett held onto the turkey platter for over a half-hour, unable to decide if he wanted it.
Tavaris Jackson unloaded to reporters.
“Dude’s straight trippin’! He’s holding the turkey but not taking anything. So I politely said, ‘Hey Brett. I’ll have some turkey.’ But then when I reached for it, he started kicking and screaming. He said that HE wanted the turkey. So I was just like, ‘Fine, man. Whatever. I’ll have some cranberries.’ And then Brett dropped the turkey and jumped for the cranberries!”
Coach Brad Childress isn’t worried.
“The poor guy’s in a new place. He’ll adjust. I’ve already told my receiving core, just run down the field and yell to Brett that the ball has cooties, and that you definitely DON’T want the ball thrown to you in the endzone. And I’ll tell you what. In practice, he’s 10 for 10 on touchdown throws. Now tonight, if we can get him to eat less sugar and go to sleep on time, I think we'll be in great shape.”
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