In a true gift to Thick Heads, Roger Stephens of Georgia slapped a crying toddler – that was not his and that he did not know – at his local Walmart. Let’s put all the ingredients together here:
1) First we put one cup of The South into a bowl.
2) Add a dash of random slappery.
3) Pour in a dollop of the Walmart slime.
4) Shake accordingly.
If you are punking someone 59 years younger than you who doesn’t yet know how to shit outside of the pants, is that considered bullying? Or just absolute domination? This 61-year old curmudgen actually told the mother, “If you don’t shut her up, I’ll do it for you.” Ha! The balls!
How tense are the dinners at this guy’s house? His wife probably hasn’t shared an opinion in years. I bet he slaps the television when it gets too loud. When his wife orgasms: “Shut up! You’re ruining this for me!” SLAP!
Or maybe… just maybe… he’s doing this for America. For every one of us that’s ever been on a plane, or in a classroom, or at a bar … and just wanted to slap the face off of someone. I mean, the 2-year old was a bad choice, but it’s the thought that counts, right?
In a shocking turn of events, this man did not have a mustache.
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