NO SHIT...

Oh, you didn’t hear? Literally?

Tiger Woods farted on camera this past tournament. Follow this link (about 25 secs in http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDBBz-7PqJk) to hear it for yourself. I heard starving children in Africa are just losing their shit over this one. They can't get enough of the news.

This is monumental fame, people. “Tiger Woods farts” was one of Google’s top searches earlier this week. I relate it directly to Dave Chappelle’s statement about Bill Clinton:

“When you are so famous, that all someone has to do is suck your dick, and then THEY’RE famous, that’s a fucked up level of fame.”

When you can fart and 2 million people must immediately watch it on YouTube, you have eclipsed any sort of normal fame. I thought Bruce Springsteen slamming his crotch into the camera at this year’s Super Bowl half-time was fucking hilarious, but you couldn’t find that shit anywhere. Tiger has broccoli for lunch and the world wants to hook up a ventilation system to his ass so they can see if it smells like money.

Every time I fart at the office, my boss just looks at me with disgust and says, “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Meanwhile, the Museum of Natural History is knocking down Tiger’s door to see if there’s skid marks. FML. www.fmylife.com

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