A quick congrats goes out to the Pittsburgh Pirates, who have conquered losing like no other. Their loss yesterday ensured a record 17th straight losing season! Let me put that into perspective for you. The Pittsburg Pirates will now take longer to see a winning season than it took me to lose my virginity.
Not impactful enough of an example? Try this: You and I have learned to eat solid foods, to not shit ourselves, to crawl and walk and talk and read and write and swim and hide an erection and tie our fucking shoes (not in that exact order) in a shorter time-span than its taken the Pirates to go above .500% in a season. Is that sinking in?!?! I went from fetus to legal driver quicker than this!!
Shame on you, Pittsburgh. People with leprosy have lost less than this!
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