Friends have deep concerns that Jessica Simpson is going into deep depression, because her darling Maltipoo dog, Daisy, was … wait for it … taken in a coyote attack! Ahahaha! How fucking random is that?! And apparently, this dog and Jessica Simpson were beeeest friends EVER. I bet they even got their respective periods at the same time.
Simpson is still hopeful to find her beloved friend, which was a gift from Nick Lachey and was her savior after the Tony Romo split. Hey Jessica, there’s been another split recently: YOUR DOG INSIDE OF A COYOTE’S MOUTH. As a dog lover, a part of me feels her pain. But your dog cannot be your best friend, or else you risk your best friend being taken by a fucking coyote. Sure, I’ve been out with friends at bars, and one of them has been dragged away by a Cougar, but that’s different. The Cougar will fuck you and pay for your taxi home. The coyote will just swallow you whole. Actually, a Cougar will do that, too. Hmmm …
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