That is one HOT teacher!

Sylvia Tagle, a teacher in Miami Lakes, Florida, was put on probation after she spiked an autistic student’s soda with hot sauce. She had also been accused of pulling a student’s hair and not changing soiled diapers. Well, Satan, err, Sylvia, now that your iron fist reign on Autistics has come to an end, I just want to give you some fun, whimsical choices to keep your days light and your smiles plentiful.

1) What time does the retard class start? I’d recommend giving the ones that can stand wedgies, and just pushing the ones in wheel chairs down stairs.
2) Although banging a younger student is clearly a cliché for teachers in the south these days, you could really set a new precedent by banging a blind 9-year old, or at least letting him play “Who’s in My Mouth” with you.
3) Ever need extra cash? Start a babysitting service, and then when the parents leave just shake the shit out of them.
4) Punch your grandfather, or someone that looks real old.
5) Chop a puppy’s head off.
6) In the ultimate revenge on the Autism-loving sons-of-bitches, have your own children.

TAKE THAT AUTISM! SYLVIA DON’T NEED YOU!

This list could go on for centuries, and I welcome readers’ additional thoughts in the comments section.

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A SECOND LOOK AT SHIT-POOL-MAN!!!

Some 21-year old shit-head was arrested in Florida for running around nude, covered in feces, and jumping into a stranger’s pool. The man, Robert Higgins (who I will call Bob), admitted to drinking.

Never has an article affected me so deeply. What roads lead to this dark place of running around naked covered in feces? Do we choose our own path in life, or is every move already pre-determined for us? If the latter is true, what does Bob think of God today? Bob probably went to school, had some girlfriends, tried some drugs, had a paper route, etc. But do you think he woke up on September 26th expecting the night to end with him doused in shit and running the streets naked? Nay, fine reader. I think not.

Then again, what if Boberto woke up with full knowledge of his evening? Maybe he was giddy with delight while his mom made him eggs that morning. And maybe when she called his name and he climbed the stairs up to the kitchen, and the light hit his sunken-back eyes, all he saw was himself in a shit-shower. Perhaps he had wanted to fuck a horse for quite some time. He could’ve been collecting diarrhea for months.

There’s just too much to digest here. The meaning of life is buried deep beneath this story and like a peanut hidden deep inside a turd, I can’t seem to get to the bottom of it.

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IT’S A BIRD. IT’S A PLANE. IT’S … SHIT-POOL-MAN!!!!

ANGLE 1 ON THIS STORY BELOW. ANGLE 2 COMING LATER TODAY. JUST TOO MANY THOUGHTS FOR 1 POST.


Some 21-year old shit-head was arrested in Florida for running around nude, covered in feces, and jumping into a stranger’s pool. The man, Robert Higgins (who I will call Bob), admitted to drinking.

Wow. I mean… wow. We’ve all taken some bad turns. Done some stupid things. Had some unidentifiable rashes. But what chain of events lead you to this pinnacle of greatness??

I can think of a good 300 times when I’ve consumed more alcohol than was necessary or even safe, and never once has it resulted in a situation where I was A) naked, plus B) in the immediate proximity of shit buckets, plus C) stricken with the compulsion to place that shit all over myself.

I guess I’m just not that big of a partier.

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